The Baring of Their Souls
by Emily92
Summary: Elliot pays Jo a late night visit. They talk. Post "Shattered."


**Author's Notes: **This idea entered my head right after watching "Shattered." Jo and Elliot's relationship has always interested me. In this particular fic, I don't consider them to be anything more than close friends, though I guess they could be interpreted as more. There's some E/O if you squint - actually, you probably don't even need to squint.**  
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**Disclaimer: **I'm just borrowing these characters.**  
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**The Baring of Their Souls**

It was past midnight, but Elliot Stabler approached her front door anyway. He hadn't been able to sleep. Jo's words to Sophie played over and over again in his mind. He heard her tell that mother, crazed with grief, that she did indeed know what it was like to loose everything, that she had lost everything. And he remembered how sad her voice had sounded.

She had moved; this wasn't the same house she had lived in during the days of their partnership. He already knew that, though - just like he now knew that he had learned about her today.

He knocked.

"Hey Stabler," Jo greeted him, "What's up with the late hour?"

"Couldn't sleep," he said as they sat down in her front room.

"Neither could I," she said softly, "Any word on Melinda?"

"She's expected to make a full recovery. Doctors took the bullet out, and she's recuperating well so far."

"Good," she said, "That's good news."

He nodded and handed her one of the paper cups he had brought with him.

"Coffee," she gave him a half smile.

"I figured it was the least I could do, barging in unannounced at this hour."

"Well, you did good."

"I try."

"How is everyone after what happened today, do you know? How's Liv? I left before I could get a chance to really see them."

"Livvy will be fine; she's Liv, after all," Elliot replied, "How exactly are you holding up, Jo?"

Those piercing eyes of his. Jo almost felt as if they could see right inside of her, that they knew that she was keeping secrets from him.

He looked at her knowingly. His ability to read her so well made her nervous, but she didn't let him know. She looked him right in the eyes, confident.

"I'm a little shaken up, but I'll be ok."

He raised an eyebrow, "Yeah?"

She exhaled sharply, "Don't patronize me."

"Pussyfooting around your worries isn't a good way to act when you're in SVU. With the things we see, we can't keep both work stuff and personal stuff bottle up. It'll drive you mad."

And then she realized: he knew. Somehow he had overheard her tell Sophie about the cancer…about everything. His eyes really could see inside of her; he could read her like an open book.

"God, who are you, my therapist now?"

"I'm just a concerned friend, providing you'll let me be one. I know what it's like, Jo, to see the things we see everyday and have issues in your personal life eating you up. I haven't told you this, but Kathy and I were separated for a bi awhile back. I hardly ever saw my kids, I was so focused on the job. I had so much going on, and I pushed away a friend who wanted to help me get through everything, and I really regret that. I don't want you to go down the same miserable path I did."

She turned away. She didn't want him to see the tears in her eyes; she hated being vulnerable, even with him, whom she had known for so long. The last time she had been vulnerable with a man he had left her when she was recovering from the surgery, saying she wasn't good enough and that he didn't want her anymore. The last time she had allowed herself to be vulnerable, she had been cast aside like a piece of garbage.

His voice held nothing but concern, "Talk to me."

"Why?" she choked out, "You already know about everything."

"Jo…"

The wall she had built up so carefully collapsed at that moment, and she leaned against him, her head tucked underneath his chin. He slipped his arms around her protectively.

"I was diagnosed last April," she said, "And they tried radiation at first, but that ended up being ineffective. So then they did the mastectomy that June."

He tightened his arms around her.

"Awhile later," she continued, "I went in for the reconstructive surgery. Ever since the mastectomy, Mark wouldn't even look at me. I thought things could start to go back to the way they had been before after I had the surgery. But I was wrong, and he left me."

She could feel him grow tense, and she knew that he was angry with him. With Mark.

"What are you gonna do?" she asked him half teasingly and half sadly, "Track him down and beat him up for me?"

"Somehow I wouldn't put it past myself," he replied.

"Yeah, well neither would I."

They stayed quiet for awhile.

"I had never felt so low before. So powerless. It scared me, Elliot."

"You're so strong. You made it through that _all alone_. You made it so that you weren't powerless."

They lapsed into silence again.

"I'm sorry I pushed you to talk like I did," he said, "It's just that I was worried about you, and I know you, Jo. You would've kept this all to yourself, letting it get to you, but pretending that it wasn't."

"Yeah, you're probably right," a smile then formed across her tired features, "I forgive you, though."

"Mhh, good."

"You satisfied my caffeine fix, after all."

"All these years later and you're still addicted to it."

"Hey, I never once denied it."

"Good, because I would've called you on that."

"Hey Stabler, could I ask you something?"

He grinned, "When have you ever hesitated to pry into my life?"

"Who'd you push away, when they wanted to get you to talk?"

"Liv," he replied after a second of hesitation, "She was trying to be there for me, and I was an ass. Irritable towards her. I regret that."

"Could I ask something else?" she ventured, thinking she might be pressing her luck.

"Go ahead."

"Do you have feelings for her?"

"You know I'm married."

"That doesn't answer the question."

"There's not a simple answer," he thought for a moment, "I care for her. Very deeply. Make of that what you will."

They were quiet again for awhile.

"I'm glad you transferred to SVU," he told her.

"I am, too. It was what I needed after this last year. And I like working with you guys."

She yawned. Elliot glanced at her clock.

"I should go," he said, "We're both exhausted."

"Wanna crash on my couch?" she offered.

"No, Kathy will be wondering where I am. But thanks anyway."

"Thank you for…well, you know."

"Not a problem."

"Good night, Stabler."

"Sweet dreams, Marlowe."


End file.
